What is it with us women, especially female financial advisors? We can be so tough on ourselves even to the point of preventing our own success. This past week during my 2nd coaching call with a young female financial advisor I recognized once again the self defeating behaviors that are so common in women. While after each of my coaching calls my clients will have homework or action items to complete. While it is important that my client attempt to complete the work it is not mandatory nor essential that everything get’s done, I realize life happens and sometimes something has to give.
But this past week during just her 2nd coaching call my client (whom I will call Mary for confidential reasons) started the call apologizing and asking whether we should even be having the call. She said I haven’t done my homework, her words were dripping with guilt and self chastisement. I told her the important thing is to continue with the calls and sometimes we can perform the homework together. But here is what was interesting. SHE ACTUALLY DID DO THE WORK!
As I went back to review what we covered the past week Mary began to share her thoughts and experiences as it related to each item on her list. Half way through the call, while being quite impressed with the progress she made I was still dumb founded as to why she felt she hadn’t done the work, and then it hit me.
It is not uncommon for female financial advisors to only feel accomplished when a task is checked off their list, when a defined action has been taken. Often times women only feel accomplished when the work equates to something measurable. Rarely do women view the process or journey as a way to move forward and being productive. Yet it is this mental work, work that can’t always be measured that has the greatest impact on our growth.
In just two coaching calls Mary had recognized the self imposed roadblocks to her success. She acknowledged the importance and reasons why she wanted to change and how that change would impact her future. This is the kind of Ah Ha experience that changes lives, accelerates growth and clears the path to success.
