Your Desire to Vent and Complain is Just a Tactic to Not Move Forward
August 31, 2017
Let me tell you negative talk get’s you NOWHERE. This tends to be an issue more with Female Financial Advisors than their male counterparts.
Women LOVE to beat them self up, they struggle to give themselves credit for success, they either call it luck or dismiss it all together (trust me I struggle with it too.)
But sometimes I have to put the kibosh on this attitude. When asked, "What went well?" female advisors are quick to tell me what didn’t go well, what they didn’t get done or how they completed a task but didn’t do it right!!
Do you hear what’s happening here?
This time it's you, not them.
Granted we all enjoy a little venting time and to hold our own little pity party, I’m ok with that as long as it is short lived (like 60 seconds) and we can then move on to other issues that are more positive and constructive.
Last week I was on a call with a female advisor, she was complaining about her assistant going on and on about how she doesn’t do things right, how she seems to take little to no initiative and every time I had a suggestions there was resistance or a reason why it wouldn’t work. So I finally said “You have two choices:
- Make this work and spend more time and energy training, coaching and monitoring her activities.
- Ask for a new assistant.
That’s it, if you want to succeed you must make one of those two choices, no more whining or complaining.” Next thing you know she emailed and said she talked with her manager and they assigned her a new assistant.
Sometimes our desire to vent and complain is just a tactic or excuse to not move forward. Sometimes we like it when we can blame our lack of growth on external issues and this deficiency becomes a comfort zone.
In almost every case especially with women our only barrier to success is ourselves. Get out of your own way, stop the negative talk and watch what can happen to your business growth.
As a female advisor every day you walk in the office you can approach your day because you WANT to be there or because you HAVE to be there.
The choice is yours.
What is this “I have to” or “I should have…”?
Whatever happened to “I want to?”
When you think of these phrases what image or feeling comes to mind?
“I have to”: It’s not a choice, I’m feeling pressure, I really don’t want to do this
“I should have”: What’s wrong with me, I’m irresponsible, shame on me
This is what I hear from many of my Female Advisors and Insurance professionals. They are constantly focused on what they HAVE to do or SHOULD have done. This is a good example of the small things we do that reflects how we think and feel about our business and our life.
But what if everything you said started with “I WANT to” or “I WILL”.
What do those words represent?
“I want to”: It’s my choice, it’s something I like, I choose. In fact just typing this I feel the corners of my mouth go up.
“I will”: I’m committed, I can, I’m looking forward to getting it done.
By simply changing your vocabulary and replacing the “I have to” with “I WANT to” and “I should have” with “I WILL” can make a tremendous difference not only on your attitude but on your efficiency and production.
As a female advisor are you ready to learn a new more authentic approach to building a successful business?
Women need to carve their own path in the financial services industry. For too long they have adapted to a model that was NOT designed to leverage their strengths and style as a woman, as such achieving success for most women advisors is harder than it should be. Learn more about Breaking the Mold© a LIVE workshop designed specifically for female advisors.